“Some of the most pleasing performances have been produced by learning and genius exercised upon subjects of little importance. It seems to have been, in all ages, the pride of wit, to shew how it could exalt the low, and amplify the little. To speak not inadequately of things really and naturally great, is a task not only difficult but disagreeable; because the writer is degraded in his own eyes by standing in comparison with his subject, to which he can hope to add nothing from his imagination: but it is a perpetual triumph of fancy to expand a scanty theme, to raise glittering ideas from obscure properties, and to produce to the world an object of wonder to which nature had contributed little. To this ambition, perhaps, we owe the Frogs of Homer, the Gnat and the Bees of Virgil, the Butterfly of Spenser, the Shadow of Wowerus, and the Quincunx of Browne.”


[Samuel Johnson: The Life of Sir Thomas Browne.]


____________


Natasha (1/31/09)
And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out (1/20/09)
He’s on his way (12/25/08)
Seven stories about Celeste (8/16/08)
The road warrior (4/14/08)
Pasadena, capital of the nineteenth century (4/6/08)
Another story you can tell against me (4/1/08)
You will wind up looking through a pinhole, down upon your knees (2/10/08)
What happens in Vegas (1/8/08)
“How do you kill mud?” (1/7/08)
Swamp thing (7/25/07)
It’s a jungle in there (7/14/07)
Popping downers (6/5/07)
The girl can’t help it (5/11/07)
Sympathy for the Devil (3/28/07)
Photographs of my girlfriend naked (3/25/07)
But I’ll go you one better if you’ve got the nerve (2/16/07)
Further adventures of Tom Cruise (2/14/07)
Be true to your school (2/8/07)
Should you decide to accept it? (1/14/07)
Roach motel on planet hell (1/4/07)
True stories (11/7/06)
A-whaling for to go (10/11/06)
Babes in the woods (10/5/06)
Death by water (8/28/06)
The Jung and the restless (8/23/06)
Get Kraken (7/21/06)
Coming of age in Samoa (6/27/06)
Doing the Vatican rag (6/17/06)
Great helium (6/14/06)
A beautiful mindfuck (6/10/06)
Come fly with me (4/11/06)
L’alpe d’wheeze (8/10/05)
Nietzsche’s theory of the gangster movie (1/24/05)
Existence precedes essence (1/17/05)
The day the highlands stood still (1/14/05)
Incense and peppermints (1/3/05)
Antiquarian pursuits (11/19/04)
Seven letters on politics (11/12/04)
Beau Brummels (9/23/04)
The way up is the way down (7/4/04)
Golden protest (7/2/04))
Here comes everybody (5/24/04)
Rock around the clock (10/24/03)
Bang bang, her baby shot her down (10/18/03)
The happiest dog in the world (8/7/03)
Vril: the power of the coming race (8/2/03)
Drop dead gorgeous (7/6/03)
Angels hard as they come (6/27/03)
A greening comes across the sky (6/23/03)
The bigger they are, the harder they fall (6/21/03)
Kermit versus Freddy versus Jason (6/17/03)
A perfectly splendid little war (4/14/03)
The double helix (2/21/03)
Rocket science (1/15/03)
Black ice (12/23/02)
Walk like an Egyptian (12/22/02)
Midafternoon of the living dead (12/20/02)
Dixie chick (10/10/02)
Finny predators (9/20/02)
School for scandal (9/17/02)
Mehr Licht (9/17/02)
Rock and roll fantasy (9/9/02)
The hollow Earth (8/31/02)
The Extreme Student of Prague (8/9/02)
Surrender, Dorothy (8/6/02)
Now you see him, now you don’t (7/14/02)
The nature of justice (5/31/02)
Black art deco (5/21/02)
Once again, pinheads rule (5/14/02)
Nuking the whales (4/9/02)
Barthelme (4/1/02)
Rumble in the urban jungle (3/20/02)
Man of mystery (3/6/02)
The revolution will not be televised (2/12/02)
It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing (1/29/02)
Everybody was kung fu fighting (1/29/02)
The midnight Nash Rambler (1/14/02)
‘I’ is someone else (1/7/02)
The fisher king goes west (1/4/02)
Let’s do the time warp again (1/1/02)
Sade but true (12/31/01)
Traversable wormholes (12/27/01)
Notes from the underground (12/22/01)
It’s only a paper moon (12/20/01)
The dude with no name (12/8/01)
Inside the bubble (12/7/01)
Not the marrying kind (12/6/01)
Frazer in the Hebrides (12/1/01)
Lord of the jungle (12/1/01)
On the rampage (11/20/01)
Cave girl of the pampas (11/7/01)
Dangerous eleisons (9/28/01)
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern go west (9/19/01)
The waste land. (9/16/01)
This is not Ben Hecht (9/5/01)
Grrly action (8/24/01)
Chicks rule (7/28/01)
Gotta like boobsalot (7/28/01)
Busting loose (7/27/01)
Fun in a Chinese laundry (7/20/01)
A stroll in the park (7/19/01.)
Reality bytes (7/19/01)
Gorillas in the mist (7/19/01)
Next-to-last tango in Paris (7/14/01)
He’s taking the fall, sweetheart (7/13/01)
Love among the ruins (7/13/01)
I’ll help you scrape the burned rubber off your hood (7/13/01)
Deuce in the hole (7/13/01)
Athena Massey’s body parts (7/13/01)
Midafternoon of infamy (6/2/01)
Immanuel Kant (6/1/01)
Terry Southern (5/31/01)
Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice (5/31/01)
Just a gigolo (5/31/01)
Naked warriors (5/31/01)
Scots wha hae (5/18/01)
Moonwalking (5/2/01)
The tough go shopping (4/27/01)
Sun, surf, serial slaughter (4/24/01)
Heads will roll (4/20/01)
A man and his mullet (4/11/01)
Pair production (4/4/01)
Love at the antipodes (4/1/01)
Cut and paste (4/1/01)
Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor (3/30/01)
A bovinity that shapes our ends (3/30/01)
Smells like team spirit (3/28/01)
Things go better with coke (3/28/01)
Deja vu all over again (3/16/01)
The writer succumbs to coprophilia (3/16/01)
Mourning becomes Electra (3/14/01)
Stars and bars (3/2/01)
Boys meet girl (2/28/01)
Six hundred thirty four blowjobs in five days (2/28/01)
The idiot (2/23/01)
Baker’s dozen (2/21/01)
Talkin’ ’bout my trepanation (2/19/01)
Paint by numbers (2/16/01)
Totally busted (2/14/01)
Rauchen verboten (2/14/01)
Citizen Goya (2/11/01)
The age of Eisenhower (2/11/01)
Dishonor among thieves (2/11/01)
Mysteries of Hong Kong (2/7/01)
Kiwi kino (1/27/01)
Cyborgs a go-go (1/20/01)
Cockney bull (1/19/01)
Georgia on my mind (1/19/01)
Love and death (1/14/01)
Old English (1/14/01)
Two guys in a garage (1/12/01)
Doze doll does wiz biz (1/10/01)
The chariest maid is prodigal enough (1/6/01)
The end of the world as we know it (1/6/01)
Just say no-no (1/5/01)
Boobs and farts (1/4/01)
There’s always a girl in the picture (1/4/01)
Visual jazz (1/2/01)
Le petit soldat (1/1/01)
Masters of the universe (1/1/01)
Greek translation (12/24/00)
Skywalkers (12/22/00)
There she is (12/20/00)
The tears of a clone (12/19/00)
Angels and ministers of grace (12/19/00)
The girl with electroscope thighs (12/14/00)
Rocks in their heads (12/8/00)
Thora, Thora, Thora (12/8/00)
Art as extreme sport (12/7/00)
Stoners on holiday (12/7/00)
No, really (12/1/00)
Holes in space (10/5/00)
Dancing on the bar (10/5/00)
Laugh-a while you can, monkey boy (9/11/00)
Falling bodies (8/8/00)
The case for Mars (8/8/00)
Rocket scientists (8/4/00)
Me, Myself, and Samuel L. Jackson (7/4/00)
A prayer for Carroll Shelby (6/19/00)
Far from Kansas (6/7/00)
Surfin’ samurai (5/14/00)
A nerd in full (5/4/00)
Flying fool (5/4/00)
Berlin Alexanderplatz (5/2/00)
Life, art, bitch-slapping the media jackals (4/25/00)
Tempus fugit (2/8/00)
Father Time, Mother Night (1/22/00)
Die Jungfrau von Orleans (12/24/99)
Sleepless (12/7/99)
What if God smoked cannabis? (11/14/99)
Through the looking glass (11/11/99)
Putting on the hits (10/29/99)
Smoke gets in your eyes (10/20/99)
Lang in Hollywood (9/11/99)
CSU 41, CU 14 (9/11/99)
Godard in the Balkans (9/2/99)
The scourge of Shannen Doherty (9/1/99)
Nine ball (8/27/99)
A romance of Semi-Happy Valley (8/27/99)
Film threat (8/13/99)
Reuben and the Jets (8/11/99)
Stonedhenge (8/11/99)
Blame it on the Casanova (8/6/99)
Virgin queen, my ass (8/1/99)
An audible silence (7/31/99)
Sex objects (7/28/99)
Sharks wha hae (7/25/99)
Lawyers in love (7/8/99)
Dead babies (7/8/99)
Father of The Bride (7/8/99)
Vera historia (6/30/99)
The Devil made them do it (6/30/99)
Dumb and dumber (6/27/99)
Women in skins (6/16/99)
Burning love (6/15/99)
The phantom of the space opera (6/3/99)
Sein und Zeit (5/14/99)
The cruelest month (5/13/99)
Too many notes (4/14/99)
Hits and misses (3/16/99)
Slouching towards Ramseyville (3/15/99)
Voodoo child (3/2/99)
Cops and robbers (2/3/99)
Christmas in Hong Kong (12/30/98)
’Tis the season (12/29/98)
Pigs and Nazis (12/15/98)
Holiday cheer (12/5/98)
Liquid refreshment (11/23/98)
Booger nights (11/10/98)
Antz (10/28/98)
Mann and Supermann (10/7/98)
Shuffle off to Buffalo (9/15/98)
Hours of idleness (9/8/98)
Why mathematicians can’t get laid (8/23/98)
Leeloo, continued (8/14/98)
Age of faith (8/10/98)
More life and times (7/26/98)
Life and times (7/20/98)
Web pages (7/13/98)
Essays in blockbusting (7/13/98)
Conversations on the plurality of worlds (2/14/98)
Mistakes have been made (9/21/97)
Inside the beltway (8/29/97)
Journey to the center of the mind (7/19/97)
Watch out for that tree (7/18/97)
Dumb, dumber, dumbest (7/16/97)
Take two (7/7/97)
The man who don’t know fear (7/7/97)
Apologia (7/6/97)
Con Air (6/29/97)
Travolta with feathers (6/27/97)
New Mexico (6/26/97)
Haste makes waste (6/17/97)
Mad dogs and martinis (6/17/97)
Anaconda (6/5/97)
Swamp things (6/2/97)
Just like Paul Newman with the Blues (5/14/97)
A fool for love (4/28/97)
April fool (4/1/97)
High colonic, low ebonic (3/28/97)
Dialing for dollars (3/18/97)
Somebody stop me, before I eat popcorn again (2/23/97)
A strange adventure of Lemmy Caution (1/12/97)
Lament (1/1/97)
Porch monkeys (12/24/96)
Christmas song (12/24/96)
Way, way over the top (10/29/96)
On “Cogito, ergo suck” (7/23/96)
Ed Wood returns; and other misadventures (7/20/96)
Correction and amplification (5/4/96)
The four henchmen of the apocalypse (2/4/96)
Exile on Main Street (1/19/96)
Babes with big lips (1/5/96)
Purple death from outer space (12/7/95)
The importance of being Cindy (11/11/95)
Quest for dirt (8/23/95)
The evil twin (7/21/95)
Miller in Hollywood (5/13/95)
Henry Miller (5/11/95)
Disciplinary action (5/11/95)
Desperate living (4/12/95)
Fatal abstraction (4/9/95)
The seven ages of man (4/1/95)
Angela (3/25/95)
Second derivative (3/21/95)
Maxima and minima (3/19/95)
Will work for food [albeit not qualified to eat] (3/7/95)
Frog princess (2/8/95)
Before Sunrise (2/5/95)
Beach babe falls for syphilitic philosopher (12/18/94)
The war of the words (12/7/94)
Der Satz ist ein Bild der Wirklichkeit (10/4/94)
Art and life (8/25/94)
An interview with Leonardo Garbonzo


____________

The whole enchilada (in reverse chronological order)


____________

The whole enchilada (in chronological order)


____________

The critic.