Anaconda (6/5/97)
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Gone Fishin’. [Christopher Cain, 1997.]
An abomination: Danny Glover and Joe Pesci depict two intellectually challenged recreational fishermen who leave their native New Jersey for a holiday in the Everglades with the intent of setting their boat adrift on the teeming waters of the Floridas and consuming much beer. Though an hour-and-a-half of Joe and Danny becalmed among the marshes chugging longneck Buds would doubtless have been more interesting, Fate intervenes, and their vacation plans are confounded by an evil, uh, bigamist, whom they alternately pursue and are pursued by until the terminal confrontation. Nothing could have compelled me to sit through this turkey had I not known that their paths of these two heroes were destined to cross those of two babes also in pursuit of the evil, uh, bigamist; and that one of them was Rosanna Arquette. — Alas, I don’t think I saw six and a half bucks worth of Rosanna; and I don’t have to see much to get my money’s worth. — I’d like to meet the guys who pitched this sucker to the studio; they could sell Windows in Cupertino.
____________Just like Paul Newman with the Blues (5/14/97)
