Not the marrying kind (12/6/01)
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The Wicker Man. [Robin Hardy, 1973. Written by Anthony Shaffer.]
The first, last, and only Druid nudie musical: monumentally repressed Scottish cop Edward Woodward [represented here as the kind of guy who would arrest himself for popping a boner] gets an anonymous tip about a missing girl which leads him on an expedition to the remote island of Summerisle, ruled over by apparently benevolent lord of the manor Christopher Lee and inhabited by a lot of people who seem way too happy to be Calvinists; and, in the course of an investigation which no one but himself seems to take very seriously [maybe because they all know better who is investigating whom], morphs reluctantly from detective to ethnographer — since this lost world in the Hebrides is, he discovers to his disgust, a stronghold of the real oldtime religion, the pagan nature-worship of the Celts and Druids: there are Maypoles everywhere, packs of priestesses dance naked around replicas of Stonehenge, and as soon as the sun goes down people are out humping in the streets; and though no one will admit what happened to the missing girl, he can’t escape the feeling that they all know and they’re laughing at him behind his back — even the absurdly bodacious pagan babes [Diane Cilento, Britt Ekland, and Ingrid Pitt] who take turns playing at seducing him from his mission. — Worst of all, at unpredictable moments everyone stops and bursts into song: have these people no sense of decency?
It isn’t difficult to guess that a human sacrifice has been scheduled for the fertility rites on Mayday, nor is it hard to figure out who’s been nominated for guest of honor; it may be that our hapless hero is making a mistake when he insinuates himself into that grand Celtic Mardi Gras parade of dancing pagans wearing animal heads heading out of town to see the Wicker Man himself. — Summer is icumen in, dude. Watch your back.
The original print was mutilated even before distribution by the usual conspiracy of uncomprehending philistines, but is here in the DVD release restored as best possible from analog masters, with accompanying documentary and illuminating commentaries. It will come as no surprise that Anthony Shaffer did a lot of anthropological research. — Music by Paul Giovanni, and the most pornographic photography of snails on record. An absolute classic. Check this out.
____________Lord of the jungle (12/1/01)
