But I’ll go you one better if you’ve got the nerve (2/16/07)
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Mission Impossible III.I. [J.J. Abrams, 2006.]
Cruise is blown to goo. Two hundred years later scientists clone him from a smear on the bottom of somebody’s shoe and revive him. A monstrous homunculus in the form of L. Ron Hubbard rips itself out of his chest and runs amuck, with a zillion teeth and acid for blood. Paramount is overrun. Trapped after getting their asses kicked, a small desperate band of critics regroup. Terrence Rafferty says “I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” They do so. The studio is reduced to a smoking crater. Cruise is blown to atoms. The end. The end. The end. The end.
____________Be true to your school (2/8/07)
