Nine ball (8/27/99)
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Dudley Do-Right. [Hugh Wilson, 1999.]
Though I knew all along [of course] that this project must necessarily be Doomed To Failure, theory must at least occasionally be confronted with experiment; and so it was that midway through this feature I found myself sitting with my feet up in the second row stuffing popcorn into my face and wondering exactly why it was I couldn’t stop laughing. — Indeed, contrary to all expectation this is all very funny, though [as always] a bald summary of the narrative facts does little to explain why. — Still: after diverting the attention of Our Hero [played by the omnipresent Brendan Fraser, than whom none can boast a squarer jaw] with a preposterous tale about vampires at large in the North Woods, moustache-twirling villain Snidely Whiplash [Alfred Molina, and give that boy a contract extension] buys the town of Semi-Happy Valley out from under its inhabitants, seeds the streams with manufactured nuggets, and sets off a gold rush that brings yuppie wetbacks stampeding across the border straight into the casinos, hamburger stands, and miniature golfcourses now newly staffed with his blackgarbed minions; with inestimable benefit not simply to his own personal exchequer but to the Canadian balance of trade. Naturally this wins the hearts and minds of the beancounters in Ottawa; worse, it piques the interest of Dudley’s childhood sweetheart Nell Fenwick [Sarah Jessica Parker], prompts Dudley’s own dismissal from the Mounties, and [unkindest cut of all] somehow causes the mysterious disappearance of Dudley’s faithful steed Horse. Fortunately drunken miner/martial arts master Eric Idle is at hand to offer counsel to Do-Right in this, his darkest hour; and, after an extended series of homages to the Eddy/McDonald musicals, a few explosions, some great motorcycle stunts, and a bit of hedge sculpture with a chainsaw, the good triumph, the wicked fail finally to prosper, and the faithful Horse returns just in time to lead a cavalry charge. — Fraser has now done Dudley and George of the Jungle; will he yet return as Tom Slick?
____________Film threat (8/13/99)
