Deja vu all over again (3/16/01)
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Exit Wounds. [Andrzej Bartkowiak, 2001.]
The very talented director of
Romeo Must Die takes what ought to be a pathetic piece of shit and somehow makes it all look good: maverick cop [please, no] Steven Seagal [I speak his name with doleful groan], a guy who keeps saving the world but [what a surprise] just can’t seem to follow orders, rescues the Vice President from a small army of terrorist kidnappers in the opening reel, but, what can you expect, pisses off the tightassed suits of the Secret Service in the process, resulting in a ritual tonguelashing by a superior officer, banishment to the lousiest district in the city [this being Detroit, it is a very lousy district indeed], an odd-couple buddy-cop pairing with an unlikely partner, and the immediate fortuitous discovery of a drug ring run by corrupt elements of [say it ain’t so] the police force itself — essentially, in other words, the plot parodied by
The Last Action Hero; and it was too dumb even then to play for decent laughs. But miraculously every time one of these obnoxious cliches is about to register Bartkowiak contrives to interrupt the exposition with another carchase, punchout, gunfight, or complete non sequitur [e.g., our hero’s sentencing to anger-management classes with Tom Arnold]; and the flow of the action distracts the viewer from the realization that he is enjoying what ought to be an abomination. — Moreover any survivor of the last few Seagal vehicles will be astonished to discover that someone has succeeded in persuading the star that dramatic tension can be considerably enhanced if the protagonist doesn’t win all the fights and get all the good lines. — Good beyond all expectation; check it out.
Mr. Seagal, incidentally, works his way through a Dodge pickup the size of the Queen Mary, a bright yellow Hummer, and a red Ducati [and doesn’t even get the Lamborghini]; no wonder they call it the Motor City.
____________Mourning becomes Electra (3/14/01)
