Love and death (1/14/01)
____________
Beowulf. [Graham Baker, 1999. Written by Mark Leahy and David Chappe, with some assistance from classical sources.]
In the middle ages of the distant future, wandering knight Christopher Lambert [as, you guessed it] arrives at a strange castle besieged from without by very unfriendly dudes with a giant Swiss Army knife who like to chop everybody in half, and menaced from within by a supernatural monster named Grendel [played by the Predator] who likes to bite everybody in half; after hacking an arm off the thing to cut it down to size, he has to deal with the monster’s mother — portrayed [with a nod to Natasha Henstridge] by bodacious erstwhile centerfold Layla Roberts, augmented somewhat by CGI. — Also featuring Rhona Mitra [a former Lara Croft] as a princess in peril: a picture that makes more babes than sense.
____________Two guys in a garage (1/12/01)
