(cxxv)


About the Garbonzo Players:


Phillipo. Dedicated follower of fashion. Likes popcorn. “Where’s Genesis?” Wants to make a lot of money and.

Gonzago. Favorite color, pink on the inside. A Testes. I’ll bet you knew he was a Testes.

Catrina. Family, musical. Hobbies, cookies, transcribing drunken meanderings.

Stefano. Born with the blues, but vaguely ashamed that he can spell them. Went to the school of hard cocks. Insistent that he does not fart so frequently nor so noxiously as Leonardo.

Greta. Belches. Wants to be a Sibyl when she grows up. Likes Annette Funicello, soft violins, and the Precambrian period. “But if you write sonnets to her she might get pregnant.”

Maximilian, Count Dog. In 1935 he ran guns to Ethiopia. In 1936 he fought in Spain on the Loyalist side. “And got well paid for it on both occasions.” The winning side would have paid him better. — Hobbies, gin.

D. Weymouth Fogelberg. An enema of the people. “A broken heart in every port,” he smiles. Invariably, it was his.

Leonardo. Reads John Donne in the bathtub. Sensitive poetic type. “She wouldn’t know a sensitive poetic type if he stuck a hand down her pants.”

Abercrombie. Really, a heart of stone. And don’t you think he looks like Kirk Douglas?


Johnny Cocktail appears courtesy of Mercury records.


Fan club address: P.O. Box 131
Encino, New Mexico

(Write now, and receive your free inflatable Catrina doll.)


We were going to tell you a lot about the Garbonzo Players, but this album says it all. Let’s just say that they’re the hottest new group to hit the charts in a long time, and the only way that they can go is up. A few comments from some people in the business:

Fonda Peters, The New Yorker: “The hottest new group to hit the charts in a long time. The only way that they can go is up.”

Richard Feynman, The Antioch Review: “Huh?”

Hypocrite Lecteur, The Rolling Stone: “A mortifying treatment of the perennial themes: poverty, flatulence, horniness, atrophy.”

Ed Cherkinsky, The Midland Daily News: “One day as I was walking down the street I stopped at McDonald’s. Suddenly everybody took their clothes off.”

Samuel Johnson, The Life of Pope: “The most attractive of all ludicrous compositions.”

Mark Lankton, Dirt Bike: “You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.”

Lesley Gore, Physical Review Letters: “Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone.”


And that’s only the beginning for this hot new group that’s hit the charts in a long time, if only they’d been up. So grab your board and go sidewalk surfin’ with:

The Garbonzo Players!


Your fault again,

Willy